11 reasons why Mac Taylor needs Stella Bonasera
by X.Devils-Sweetheart.X
Summary: Somewhere between the cups of coffee and seemingly endless cases he started to rely on her. And now, he's starting to realize - he can't live without her. Stella/Mac; Friendship/romance. Multi-chapter fic. Better than this summary. CHAPTER THREE NOW UP!
1. Fresh wounds

Okay, introduction to this first. This is going to be an 11 part story based around; you guessed it, 11 reasons why Mac Taylor needs Stella Bonasera. Feel free to add to alert this ect – if you want. I shall be working through the seasons – so where better to start then before the series. Anyway – I promise not all chapters will be as depressing at this one. I'll let you get on with reading now. Peace out. x

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**11 Reasons General theme:** 11 Reasons why Mac needs Stella

**Character/s or Pairing:** Mac/Stella (friendship only in this chapter folks)

**Prompt:** Skin/Sense of touch

**Summary: **It's been two days, two whole days. Nothing's easier. But maybe, together, they might just survive.

**Notes: **I wrote this while listening to Damhnait Doyle's "Say what you will" hence the reason why it's depressing. Anyway – enjoy?

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There's no sound, no light, no nothing in Mac Taylor's apartment. Everything is dead. The phone's been disconnected. The TV, fridge and any other noisy appliance has been unplugged. The door is locked. Everything points to the owners of the house being out. It's only the harsh sobs that indicate otherwise. He's sat on the floor – in the classic hugging-the-knees position, trying in vain to stop crying; and failing miserably.

Two days ago his world had come crashing down. His love had been taken from him. His superiors had suggested that he take some time off, talk to someone even go and see a shrink. She wouldn't have wanted that. Instead he'd done nothing – which she also wouldn't have wanted. He'd angrily refused the help, worked until he thought he was going to collapse from exhaustion and not slept. He'd yelled a bit, cried a lot, and separated himself from the team.

He didn't even bother moving when he heard the door being unlocked. He knew that it'd be Stella coming to check on him – she'd started to do that every day now. Check on him, that was – to check he'd not done anything stupid and that he was okay. She made sure he ate, showered and tried to get him to sleep.

It'd impacted right away – when he'd lost her, two days previously, that his life would never be the same again. That his whole life would be affected and changed. But he thought that the pain would ease a little. But he'd been wrong. With every passing minuet he'd felt himself becoming number and number. He'd not had physical contact with anyone since the morning of her death – and he missed the comfort that just having someone hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay could bring – even if everything wasn't going to be okay.

He heard Stella slowly work her way around the apartment, plugging things back in and switching things back on. He'd grown accustom to that in the past two days. He heard her make her way towards him. He heard her hesitate for a moment before feeling her hand on his shoulder. He couldn't help but let a fresh sob escape him, and felt her crouch down beside him and pull him towards her. Mac rested his head on her shoulder as Stella held him close to her. She was one of the only things he had left now. She'd been just as close to Claire as she was to him – that reassured him somewhat, knowing that they'd both endured the same loss. They'd both lost the most amazing person in the world and now they both knew that they had to cling onto each other if they had any chance of survival.

Just the warmth of having her near him and having her fingers on his skin – holding him close to her, reassured him that there might be a chance that they'd both be okay. Even the tear he felt drop from her cheek onto his head reassured him.


	2. One year

_I'm really bad at updating. But I miss this fandom and this pairing. Enjoy. _

**Prompt; Hug/ Glomp/ Embrace.**

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It'd been one year.

365 days. 12 months. 8760 hours.

But to Mac, it felt like an eternity.

It'd been a year of him pushing himself to the extremes. He'd working all the hours that he could to prevent the horrible image of the towers haunting his nightmares. But yet they seemed like they'd been imprinted onto his brain. Playing over and over again; in some kind of sick loop that wouldn't stop.

He'd of been dead by now too, if it wasn't for his best friend.

Stella had forced him to sleep when his eyes struggled to stay open. She'd forced him to eat, while being seemingly deaf to his protests. She'd been there to listen when he needed to talk. She'd given him her shoulder when he was ready to breakdown, and she was always there to pick up the pieces put him back together again.

How she managed to do it, Mac didn't know. But he couldn't help but admire her strength.

After all, he wasn't the only one who'd lost Claire. They'd been a couple times where he could have sworn he'd seen Stella breakdown behind her emerald eyes. But it never got further than that, her defences worked both ways, nothing was able to get it, and barely anything was allowed to get out.

-X-X-X-

It wasn't planned. Nothing between them ever was.

It just kind of happened.

He'd caught sight of her just as he was laying the flowers he'd brought down. She hadn't seen him – of which Mac was slightly glad. With sadness he moved himself away from the spot which he'd been rooted to for the past hour. Pulling his jacket tighter to him he followed his co-worker.

She'd brought flowers too, like everyone else had. But as she lay them down she remained crouched. She started speaking to the flowers, as Mac remained silent and within earshot.

"Hey," she started; her voice was barely audible. "Wow, a year already... I, uh." Mac heard her sigh. "Listen, this year's been hard without you. Especially for Mac... I mean, he's lost without you. I've been trying my best but I'm so worried about him. He's not coping without you. None of us are." She commented ruefully. "I don't even know why I'm saying this, I mean, it's not like you can hear me... I just want Mac to be okay. You know what he's like." Mac could practically hear her eyes roll with that comment.

"Stell," he croaked; making the female jump and spin around on her heels. It was only then that he realised that she was crying. Without thinking he walked towards her and pulled her into his arms. He couldn't live without her, not now, not ever. He held her tightly as he whispered a soft "Thank you," into her ear. He owed her his life.


	3. Thank you

**Sorry it's so short. I want to try and get this so I do at least one chapter a week, but I can't promise anything. Lol. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. It was much appreciated. Anyway, enjoy. **

**Prompt: Rage/Anger. Set just after Blink (1x01). **

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It was his entire fault that she was dead. He had pushed her too far in his power-hungry struggle to find the murderer and she'd died as a result.

She was so young.

It was the fear in her eyes that stuck with him the most, like the image of them had been embossed on the insides of his eyelids.

It was his fault – he was her killer.

Mac looked up from his desk as the door to his office clicked open. He allowed the guilt to slip to the back of his mind for a brief moment as his Greek co-worker walked towards his desk.

"Hey, the team was thinking about getting some drinks, want to come?" she asked, as she stopped just a couple steps in front of his desk.

He shook his head and looked back down to his desk. "I can't... I've got too much paperwork that needs doing." He shrugged, knowing that he wasn't fooling her in the slightest.

"I know you Mac, So don't lie to me," he could feel her eyes boring a hole into the top of his head. "Her death wasn't her fault... you didn't kill her-"

"She might have recovered if I'd not shown her that photo." Mac interrupted, finally looking up and meeting Stella's gaze. "This is my entire fault."

"It's not Mac, and somewhere at the back of your mind you know that. You just can't accept it."

"But Stella, she might have recovered..." he sighed, the world weighed heavily upon his shoulders sometimes.

"You know, you don't have a choice any more. You're going to come with me and the team and get a drink... God knows you need it." Stella stated, her tone was so threatening Mac dare not argue with her. "I'm not leaving you here to drown in your imagined guilt."

"Stell-" he began, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

He felt Stella's hand reach for his. "No 'ifs' and no 'buts', Mac Taylor. You need this." She told him, guiding him gently towards the door as he opened his eyes.

He let a small laugh escape his lips. "I was just going to say thank you,"

"Oh," Stella replied, as she paused for a moment. "Well that's good then." She said after a couple seconds, glad that Mac couldn't see the soft red color that had just reached her cheeks.


End file.
